Gay
marriage has been a hot topic of debate over the last several years and
yesterday’s events added several logs to the fire. Not only was it announced
that North Carolina voters approved a constitutional amendment outlawing gay
marriage by a significant margin, but Barack Obama, President of the United
States of America, announced his support for allowing gay marriage. Given all
that is being written on the subject I can’t resist weighing in with my own
thoughts, several of which I consider to be fundamental considerations most
people are simply passing over.
First off,
let’s get the whole religious debate out of the way. Yes, I’m aware that The
Bible says in the book of Leviticus that for a man to lie with mankind as he
does with womankind is an abomination. Taking for granted that The Bible is the
literal word of God, a Grant Rant for some other time, shouldn’t the other
rules about marriage contained therein be codified by state law as well? After
all, mere verses before God tells us that homosexuality is a crime he also
says, in Verse 6, “None of you shall
approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am
the LORD.” What state which makes illegal same-sex marriage would yet allow
first cousins to marry? I’ll give you a hint; they recently passed a
constitutional amendment banning gay marriage even though it was already
illegal in the state. North Carolina, of course! A little consistency in a
literal interpretation would be nice, but hey, who’s keeping track? Lastly, my
favorite hypocrisy coming from Leviticus isn’t the penalty of death for a man
who sleeps with a woman engaged to someone else, (after all that one’s true,
God was clearly trying to kill Bobby Petrino in his motorcycle accident) but
from Chapter 15, Verse 19 “And if a woman
have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart
seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.”
Now, while I understand what God was getting at here because all men know the
very real fear of trying to interact with an even more irrational woman than
normal (please don’t hurt me ladies, it’s just a joke, I promise, you don’t
turn into raging, hormonal lunatics at all), I don’t know anyone who advocates
for such a ludicrous policy. When was the last time you saw a man who preaches
against same-sex marriage on religious grounds lock up his wife for a week
every month? Can we please agree that even allowing for The Bible as the end
all be all of personal moral codes, it probably isn’t the best place in which
to get ideas for social policy?
Moving away
from religion’s connection to this debate, there are a host of other arguments
which favor gay marriage. I hope you’ve been reading the news or simply been
observant enough traveling about town to already know, but America is getting
pretty fat. Have you seen the stereotypical gay guy on TV? They all workout
like crazy. They would do a much better job raising kids by teaching their kids
good eating habits and encouraging exercise. Forget Jamie Oliver and healthy
school lunches, gay dads are the way to slim down America. Next, the whole
homophobic, gay sex is gross squabble is absurd. Aside from the fact that two
people loving each other could be nothing but beautiful, how many of your friends
have significant others you find completely hideous? Be honest. We all have
buddies with hot girlfriends we always invite to go hangout at the beach and
couple friends where the girlfriend is so ugly we only invite them to catch a
movie so we don’t have to look at them while we talk in a dark theater. Don’t
tell me gay sex is too gross to be allowed because if gross sex was a
disqualifier for a relationship half of my straight buddies would never be
allowed to marry because either they or their gal is simply too ugly, and it’s
mostly the former. Plus, how many of the movies you delete from your Netflix
history feature two actresses, shall we say, prominently. I know, I know, The
Bible verse I quoted earlier doesn’t say anything about womankind lying with
womankind being an abomination (proof God is a dude), but next time you hear
some macho guy bashing how unnatural being gay is kindly remind them they never
seem to mind when their wife is out of town.
Allow me to point out one more
hypocrisy before I conclude. The big debate raging in our country is what the
scope of the federal government should be. It seems a little silly to me to
argue for limited government (my view) and at the same time vehemently defend
the government’s right to limit the social liberties of its citizens. Shouldn’t
we let individuals make their own decisions about their relationships without
trying to legislate or punish those choices? After all, a very wise man once
said about an adulterer in danger of being stoned to
death for her choices, “He that is
without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
